Thursday, January 26, 2012



those are my proclamations for this evening

i have dealt with much confusion,
absence of patience,
lack of listening
& accusations
most of which were not done by me,
but i will take ownership to the fact that i may have contributed

what happens, how do you deal when people come at you?

when things like this happen repetitively
how can you not take a look at yourself?
i am the common denominator

what i do feel is that these times are a weeding process
sticking up for yourself is not a crime
neither is asking for what you want
you should do both of these things
WITHOUT expectation it possible?

they say that your hormones change every 7 years
your entire body chemistry will change in a 7 year cycle
(not when it makes my hair brittle, or my ass bigger)
does this hold true for relationships, developement & passions?
isn't it an ITCH of sorts?

as it turns out
our most progressive years are the first 7

At birth there is a very different physical and glandular system than in later years. For a start the sexual organs have not developed, meaning responses to sex and sensation are very global. Also the thymus is very large and in later years becomes smaller. It has been said this, in these early years, gives the child a very primitive response to truth, right and wrong, and what later become moral codes. So the child only slowly develops any real sense of social morality.

7-14 increases the growth with creating ideas & emotions

The physical changes also prepare the growing personality for the next stage. The thymus gland decreases rapidly in size, allowing the development of a sense of right and wrong, and social responsibility. A sign of this physical and psychological growth is the losing of the milk teeth and the emergence of our adult teeth. This marks an entrance into a new maturity.
As the thymus fades, and the sexual organs develop, the personality glides into the turbulent world of puberty and adolescence.

the third cycle is 14-21 calling this the self conscious period 21- 28 enlargement & refinement

the struggle of breaking away from home life and/or parental influence. It naturally produces conflict as the person learns some degree of independence.
some sense of social and individual responsibility, or if not that the beginning or a sense of a direction or life purpose. This might not be recognised as such at the time. But it is a time of searching for life purpose, independence, a realization of choices plus a testing of social and personal limitations as well as an awareness of a burgeoning sexuality. As this is a traumatic period of life for most of us, it is also likely to be a time of many unforgettable dreams.
We are still finding out what our boundaries and needs are, and the sexual drive as at full flood.. Any partner we have at this time may be loved for ones own needs – rather than out of recognition of who the other person is.

21- 28 enlargement & refinement
(i am closing the doors on this phase on tues 2.7.12)

The changes become more subtle as the years pass. the creative process of mind becomes most active. Researchers and inventors seem to make their greatest advances during these years. It is interesting to note that physical science finds evidence of the reason for this in the fact that the association centres of the brain come to their peak efficiency at about thirty-five years of age.
Here we take stock of ourselves and the emotional influences that have shaped our personality. We begin to determine what is us and what traits we have been pressured by family, peers or society to adopt.

HOLY SHIT THAT is exactly what i was getting at without knowing i was getting there!

35-42 can be considered the restless years

one begins to feel a new restlessness. In some degree a desire to share whatever one has gained through life with others comes to the surface. What has been developed or realised can be taken to greater subtlety during this period. This is almost like unfolding something, perhaps similar to the way a flower unfolds a bud that has been developing in earlier phases of its growth.
This is when we reassess the results of what we are doing externally in our life. Our relationships, careers, habits and the ways we interact are all put under scrutiny and modified or changed. It’s a time of facing up to what does and what doesn’t satisfy us.

42-49 digestion of experience

new ideals and a new directions in life emerge
People change partners, life directions, and even attempt major personal changes, although these latter may have begun in the last cycle.
(mid life crisis?)
Also, the emotional age and the maturing of love may at last show signs of an unconditional love. If this is not appearing in small degree, it might be one is still locked in earlier ages. Strangely, many of us maintain the emotional age of a child right into mature years, feeling all the fear of abandonment, jealousy and possessiveness of our childhood.
We are prepared to please our self, rather than society and gain a real understanding of our uniqueness, accompanied by a sense of urgency to express our true self before it gets too late.

49-56 mental & spiritual climax

Any problems of our personality, such as maladjustment and our repressions, will undoubtedly become more urgent in these years. This reacts upon one’s marriage and professional life alike. The problem is that we have to learn to live with ourselves in a new way. We slowly have to adapt to our new-old body, and habits of long-standing do not die easily.
If we haven’t successfully understood who we are by this stage and achieved our goals, then depression, moodiness and turmoil will plague both our waking life and our dreams.

56-63 inner tranquillity & acceptance

At peace with oneself and more accepting of where we are and what we have achieved marks this period. But many things that were lying unlived within you might arise at this time, either as a form of unrest, or as directly living out those things that duty or work – or even self restraints – kept you from doing or being. You have lived a long life as a younger person, and the old ways of dealing with things is often difficult to let go of as things change.
As an individual we may come to recognise that our make-up is formed out of the collective experience of our family and the culture we have been exposed to. The question, “Who am I,” leads us to look more fully into what makes us who we are. This awareness and the insight gained from it transforms us. The change is that of becoming more fully independent of the forces that formed us. This means we create something new of who we are, and perhaps leave something of this new self in the world by what we do, create or live. Not every one undertakes this diving into the depths of self to discover ones core being.


We appreciate the differences between us and our friends and look to the good rather than the bad in people.
Sometimes, if you can actually be aware of and work with this process, it leads to a sense of being lost or uncertain. By this is meant that for most of us external needs have dictated the direction of much that we have done or was needed of us. Now a great deal of this external pressure is removed. With its loss you realise that a great many choices or directions are open to you. It is like standing at cross roads with many directions.

70 - 77 OMG i'm old

There is a greater unconditional love and acceptance.
You may not be as powerful and active in the outer world, but you are gaining strength and effectiveness on people’s inner life if you are still healthy.
(i love how the descriptions are getting shorter)

77 & climbing

During the three preceding periods a new self was developed.
This emerged out of a summary and synthesis or all that you had lived.
The essence of the purpose, love and ideas you lived by is given new expression.

thank you to
for this complete article
and how much we have learned form this

what ties this together for me:

i felt that i was shedding my skin;
a layer for time/experiences,
that i appreciate every minute of,
but that dont serve me anymore.
work relationships;
my own issues that i would seek out in others;
& just figuring out who i am!
who i want in my life.
where i want my life to go.

opening up to those that contribute positive light to my life
& figuring out ways that i can repay the kindness

please never feel badly about having a change of heart
friends we grow up with....perfect example
we grow apart from
you can still love & appreciate them
while holding your own space.
maybe you can learn positive things form them & their accomplishments or lives
life is a journey where we should all help one another
do it in your own time
at your own speed
with respect & love for your time here

true colors are what you choose to see
i have always argued that my version of red
might be what someone else calls there version of blue
but you decide
be kind
appreciate those you love
honor each moment spent


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